We have all noticed HUGE changes in workforce dynamics over the years comparing generation to generation. Well here’s a little story, hiding a rather large rant, I thought I would share.
I was having dinner with a group of friends back in March and as the discussion turned away from the failing job market and toward the Broadway aspiring wait staff, who were singing their hearts out while waiting and serving, at Ellen’s Stardust Diner in Manhattan. Then out of the blue a tag-along, out-of-work, 20-something parasite nephew remarked “I would never take a job in the food industry”. You could’ve heard a pin drop as everyone at the table directed their attention to the naive remark, while I calmly mustered all of my insight and wisdom to ask “ummm why?”
Privileged Nephew’s answer was “I just told myself that I would never work in the food service industry”, translation… “I’m too good for that kind of work”… Hmmmm, well next to the spoiled brat nephew his Uncle sat in bewilderment. Why? Because his Uncle, an international lawyer and former White House staffer, used to wash dishes and perform many other tasks in his father’s diner while growing up and even while attending Law School. Now interestingly enough that same path is not good enough for his nephew who apparently had everything handed to him on a silver platter..
This story is not far away from many I have seen over the past 15, or so, years. High School and College kids “rollin” in their dad’s Mercedes without a care in the world or maybe sporting the newest iPhone 3Gs to cope with their new Twitter fix… Common parental response? “I give it to Johnny to keep track of him” Really, the (insert newest, most expensive mobile device here) is for tracking purposes ..
Is that your final answer?
We’ve become a society of privilege and abundance where certain types of work and lifestyle is “beneath” us and not worthy of our time. I believe this all started back when parents wanted to “start giving my kids a better life than I had.” I find that absurd, because that childhood of hard work, discipline and fear of not pleasing our parents made us all into what we are today.. Successful.. and we want to take that AWAY from our kids?
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Do we believe spoon feeding little Johnny will make him into a better person? Or will it set him up for ultimate failure. Case in point, in top colleges across the nation today the term helicopter parent is commonly used for parents that “hover” and make all decisions for their kids throughout their time at the University. Even to the point where the parents are negotiating their kid’s salary and benefits at their very first job out of college. No, seriously this is happening and has been happening for years. Millennials are staying home longer and going to school at colleges closer to home now more than ever.
Xers wanted to get out and make a name for themselves while the millennials are trying feverishly to reattach the cord.
How can we expect a strong economy and future when we’re raising privileged weaklings?
**Note to self: Submit yourself for drama award if ranting continues.
One of your best posts ever!
Right on Chad. The author that popularized the term ‘helicopter parents’ is Jim Fay. I’m reading his more recent book “Parenting With Love And Logic” to try to figure out how to avoid raising kids with such a sense of entitlement. phenomenal reading.
It’s not easy these days because no matter what the parents do, the kids are exposed at school, at their friends homes, on TV, and in movies to pressures that make that parents job a steep uphill battle.
Still it’s a fight worth making.
-eric
Chad,
Great post. I grew up one of the privileged. Most of my friends are also privileged. My parents, however, worked to instill a tremendous work ethic and I rarely see that from any of my peers. I was working during the spring breaks while my friends were off in Florida or the Bahamas. I was working in the summers because my parents, although wealthy, had no intentions on raising a lazy self righteous daughter who would go out in the world and expect that everyone owed me a living just because I was present.
I see the same sense of PRIVILEDGE in my peers (i am 28) that you write about here. While I hated the fact that I had to work during breaks when all of my friends were traveling through Europe (1st class, no less), and I knew my parents could afford to send me on the same trips, I am now extremely grateful to both of them for forcing me to work. I now live at home – back with my parents because I got laid off from my job. Do you think my parents will let me sit around and do nothing?? NO way! I have a part time job at Starbuck’s – something none of my friends would think of doing because it is, as you say, beneath them.
I just wanted you to know that there is at lease ONE person of priviledge out there who has learned that in order to get anywhere in the world, you gotta work.
Chelsea
Completely agree, spoiled & naive!
Get out of your parents’ house and experience life.
Amen & Amen…..
One of my sons made similar comments “I’ll never flip burgers”. Strangely enough he ended up washing dishes at the Ol English Tea Room when he got hungry enough.
There are many other comments that I would love to make about what I have seen similar to your observations and how it is changing our country but it can be rather discouraging and I would rather try to do something positive about it which is one of the reasons I am writing a book called “It’s Not the Brocoli….Stupid!” a book about child rearing. It’s been on my mind to write for years but I didnt want to pull a Spock and write it before my kids became productive members of society.
Stormin
There are different ways of making life difficult for your children. When you do to much for them you are basically sending the message you don’t believe they are capable people. This is what creates a weakened person.
Confidence comes from experience and we all need that. I think that sometimes its easier to just give kids money then try and spend time teaching them the right way to live. Everyone is working and no one is nurturing anymore
and the people who do are not incouraged to do so. Society makes it as hard as possible to spend time just
being with your family. I live in Europe now where we have alot more down time. We don’t have as many things but we spend more time at family dinners and holidays.
Its meant the world to our family. We fight less we enjoy each others company more. As John Lennon said money can’t buy love. Actually kids sometimes resent you because you give them to much and it has the opposite affect that your going for.